I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
