So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
