i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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