im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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