I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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