It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What drink are we having for lunch?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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