Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
