Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
