Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
