What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
