What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
