where am i from again
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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