Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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