i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Randomize