I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
