we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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