i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
