we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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