Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
