god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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