Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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