a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Your topless pictures make me question reality
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
