WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
