this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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