just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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