Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
