I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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