i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
