i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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