How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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