Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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