I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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