we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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