I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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