I will die if light touches me.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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