you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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