Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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