pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
