me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
