i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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