do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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