Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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