With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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