She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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