Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize