i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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