I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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