Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
