Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
