i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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