Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
