I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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