Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we made out on top of his cat.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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