someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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