i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I still have a little drunk in my system
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
