I wannas sexs uuuuu
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
