I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
