My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
