Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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