last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
