You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
