I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
