have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
