u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
