I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
