Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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