Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
