the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
